Badger Badger Badger.

It's been nearly six months since my best friend moved away to China. She left only a matter of weeks after graduating from UA to take up a job as an English teacher in a small town near Beijing. She loves it there, and I'm so happy for her that she escaped dream crushin' Tucson.

People who don't know me very well find it hard believe that I have the ability to cry, much less that I cry on the regular.
But I do, and I cried when she left. I sobbed, like a 10 year old girl.

There aren't many people that I hold dear. Truth be told, I really don't like most people. At all.
I have an overall hatred for humanity that runs deeper than even my hatred of flip flops, public displays of affection, bedazzled t-shirts, slow bus drivers, or the Insane Clown Posse.

Gina's departure hearkened the inevitable.

One by one, my closest friends graduate, get married, raise children, move away, and move on. It gets lonely when you're still doing the same things (namely school), only having no one to share with or vent to.
(This is not entirely true, as my wonderful boyfriend still goes to college, we even have the same major and he is a great comfort to me among other things. The point still stands however and your significant other can't replace your friends.)

Gina, Morgan, and I were the tripod from hell together. We drank excessively, and at that time in our lives there was really no reason not to. We'd beat the shit out of each other, piss in alleys, and were just plain rowdy and very unsavory. But it was insanely fun and we had many a ridiculous, hilarious adventure. Many of which I cannot post on the internet due to its graphic nature, sorry guys.

Gina helped me wade through the muck of some of the worst times in my life. She always kept me in check if I was generally fucking up and had excellent advice to give for any problem.
When I was smart, I took her advice.

With her gone, her voice of reason is no longer there to guide me and be the support I thought I needed. There's only me now.

Greetings readers, classmates, and the like!
I hope this first, albeit delayed post of mine finds all of you well on this fine Sunday.
I would like to tell you all that I enjoyed an eventful weekend, complete with drunken whiskey brawls and dancing with naked ladies in body paint and glitter, but that would be a lie.

That was my friend Tim's weekend.

I, instead, toiled over countless essays, take-home class exercises, and seemingly trivial paperwork.
At times I think much of my higher education (at the wonderful institution of learning known as the University of Arizona) amounts to just that -- paperwork.  As I approach the final stretch of my college education, I am consumed with unshakeable apathy, and simply feeling disheartened about the whole thing. The future doesn't seem as bright as it did when I started college once upon a time.
I am 25 now, a full time student, and work the weekends at a minimum wage job. I take the bus everyday, as I don't own a car or have a driver's license (that's another story for another time).
A bit bitter perhaps? Sure, why not.
The lesson learned here, boys and girls, is that life is unexpected, so don't get too attached to your life's blueprint. The order of the universe really doesn't give a shit about your plans, so don't be disappointed when things don't work out the way you thought they would.

But, there is great freedom to be found that is far more rewarding when you simply learn to let go and accept your limitations in shaping the future.
This is sort of my meditation for the day.

For those of you who are as enamored as I am with Zen buddhist teachings, I highly suggest reading some of  Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh's books. He writes very simply, but his teachings and meditation techniques are nothing short of wonderful.

How will I ever have the time to become a kung fu master with all this pesky schoolwork in the way?
School really is ruining my life.